You all know or either will know what it is like to prep yourself to fly off to college. Well, right now I am in that stage and feeling very discouraged. I have always had a problem with test taking. I have ADD and ADHD, this makes sitting in a class room very difficult and I tend to get over stressed about everything. I am a great student though! I get high A's and B's on my report cards. But when it comes to testing......... its a whole different story.
Most of you probably don't know this, but I am a fraternal twin. My twin is super smart! She has always had A's on her report card ever since she was wee little. Yes, i do build up jealousy since she has always been looked upon as a smart girl. Recently I took the ACT test and let me tell you, it was HARD. At least I thought it was hard, but i think my nervousness and stress really made me freak out and not think while taking it. Anyways, I got my score back and was speechless. I got a 17. I felt so sick to my stomach, and discouraged. A 17 was unheard of! After talking to my Parents I decided to take a 6 week-1day ACT Prep Program. So I took that and took the prep classes ACT test. I got a 19! More colleges would be willing to accept my ACT score! Then came time to take the ACT again, I felt just as nervous as before. Weeks later I got my score back.... a 17....AGAIN.
I felt like there was no hope. All my friends would be going around saying: "Yeah, I ONLY got a 32." ...........I would stand there confused. ONLY A 32?!!!! ARE YOU FOREAL?! THATS AMAZING CAUSE I GOT A FLIPPIN "17".....................O_O
**Sorry I shall continue to rant, bear with me please!**
Seriously, it is so discouraging... like you don't even know. When i hear someone has almost received a perfect ACT score and they are complaining and saying that they want to bring up their low score from a 32 to a 35..... How does that make my score look?! Like- I am so stupid and dumb. I want to be able to be proud of my score and make my parents proud of their daughter!...but that was just not possible. I felt broken, stressed, unworthy, discouraged, anxious, nervous, worried. How can ANY college accept me with such a low score?! My options are almost at ZERO!
Then one day it hit me.. when a quote popped up on a scholarship website: "I AM MORE THAN A TEST SCORE". Talk about words of wisdom. That quote really hit me hard. God knows that I am so much more than a test score. He will direct me to where I need to be! God knows the plans He has for me! I do not need to worry, but cast my worries on God. He is my refuge and my strength, He shall build me up! I know that I need to Continue to pray to God and ask for wisdom and guidance. God cares that I am trying my very best and glorifying His name. My Dream is to become an ER NURSE and then become a part time missionary overseas to help use my skills to spread Gods word to everyone. I know that if this is what God wants me to do He shall Lead Me.
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